Crimson Memories
by janesbiotch
Summary: It has been 4 years since the Team has last seen Patrick Jane. Watch what happens when he gets back on the scene. I promise it's better than it sounds, and yes i know it's my third new story. i hope you can follow along i'm in need of a beta.
1. Chapter 1

Okay even I agree that I have a lot of Mentalist fanfics started. Well only two but that's still a lot. Here's a third one and now I shall alternate on updating them all. Okay so let's just get this one started shall we? As always all mistakes are mine for I have no beta. I hope it's easy for you to follow along.

Chapter 1: Awkward Reunions

Teresa Lisbon sat at her desk at the CBI trying her best not to think about the date. It was Christmas time and she should be happy. Of course it didn't snow there because it was California after all but she was always happy at Christmas time. Well that was until four years ago. It had been four years. Four years since the death of Wainright. Four years since…"

"Lisbon." She answered her phone which broke her from those dark thoughts.

"Hey Boss, we were got out to a scene at Armstrong Plaza, a woman was found stabbed." Van Pelt told her boss calmly.

"What? Why wasn't I informed, I'm on my way." She said gathering her keys.

"Wait boss, we just wanted you to know that we went out without you because well you know…." Van Pelt trailed off.

"I'm fine Van Pelt really, you guys don't have to worry about me I'm fine. Give me ten minutes and I'll be there."

"Wait boss there something….." Van Pelt heard the dial tone as she hung up.

"Well?" Wayne Rigsby asked as he waited patiently.

"I didn't get a chance to tell her, she just hung up and said she'd be here in ten minutes."

"Grace, don't you realize what you've done, what's going to happen when she gets here. It's going to…."

"You don't think I know that! God Wayne, I mean what do you think it's doing to me?' she asked as she rubbed her belly nervously.

Rigsby took in the demeanor of his wife and realized that this had to be taking its toll on her as well. He looked back at his longtime partner Kimball Cho and even though he seemed so calm on the outside he knew that on the inside he was just as confused as all of them. He just wished that Lisbon was warned, this was going to be harder on her than anyone else.

Agent Kimball Cho had so many questions that he wanted to ask the witness that stood before him, but he didn't know exactly how to bring them up due to the situation. So for the time being and until his Boss showed up he would just stick to the easier questions and investigate the actual crime taking place.

"So you just found her here like this?" he asked the man before him.

"Well no not exactly, I mean when I walked in I didn't know that she was dead. She was just lying there and I thought maybe she fainted or something so I rolled her over and tried to help. I've been trained in CPR and first aid. I thought I could help her but it was too late."

"Mr. Holbrook." Cho stated looking down at the ID again. "You just happened to be in the ladies room that seems pretty strange. What were you doing in the here exactly?" Cho questioned.

"Oh no need to worry officer, I'm not some pervert. My daughter had to go and she's still pretty young, and I had to come in here with her. I figured that it would look a little better if I was found bringing her out of the ladies room instead of the men's you know." He looked pretty nervous.

Cho took in the man's appearance. Mr. Perry Holbrook, he wore very expensive jeans and a nice plaid shirt. His extremely curly hair was all over the place, and his blue green eyes were what kept catching his eye. They spoke volumes to him, and well he found it hard to look away. That was always the case with eyes like that.

"Where's this daughter you speak of?" Cho asked with lack of emotion.

Perry really didn't get what the hell was going on. He had just moved to Sacramento so he didn't know how the law enforcement was here but normally when a guy finds a body and calls it in they say thank you. They don't give a person the third degree. As he looked back at the body he couldn't help but sigh. Poor Rebecca, she was going to be a dancer, her mom was going to be so proud of her. He had to keep his face neutral, his emotions under control. He wanted a fresh start for him and Joey, no one needed to know of his gift. If they knew they would want him to help, and he just wanted to disappear.

"Mr. Holbrook!" Cho said breaking Perry from his thoughts.

"Oh yea Joey, she doesn't like strangers much. Joey you can come out now, these are police officers honey, and they don't want to hurt you.

Cho spun around to the handicapped stall in the bathroom that had been closed the whole time and a little girl came out. She couldn't be more than three. She ran to her dad and put her hands around his leg and hid shyly behind him so they couldn't see her. Before Cho realized he had smiled. She looked just like her daddy they shared the same eyes. He cleared his throat and tried to think of what he would say next to keep Perry from leaving. Where the hell was Lisbon?

Teresa Lisbon sat in the parking lot doing everything to calm her nerves. It had been 4 years and she still remembered the last thing he said to her. How could he say something like that, and then die on her before she could say it back. It was not fair, it was so Jane, but not fair. She looked to the passenger seat and she could almost see him there saying something stupid, calling her woman and then sauntering to the scene to solve it in a matter of seconds. She never figured out exactly how he did it, she knew that he was a mentalist but there had to be something more right? He did it in ways sometimes and he never even had anything to go on. She took a few calming breaths and off she went to do her job. She could cry about the love of her life later.

First thing she noticed when she walked into the empty plaza was all the looks she got. Everyone at the precinct knew the date, hell everyone in the town knew the date and what it meant to her but these look were different. She expected the looks of sympathy and of course the harsh looks of pity and wondering why she was holding on to a man who was dead, but that's not what she saw. She saw some smiles, along with looks of confusion and finally when she reached her best friend Grace Van Pelt-Rigsby she knew something was seriously wrong.

"Grace, what's going on?" she asked the youngest agent.

Then she saw it. It had been 4 years but she would know that face anywhere. There stood Patrick Jane. The last four years had been kind. Compared to the fact that she had attended his funeral and knew for a fact that she thought he was in heaven with his wife, but no there he stood. He looked refreshed. His hair was an unruly mess but it was shorter so the curls were tight and he was smiling. A smile that lit up his whole face, and she knew at that very moment she had come to life. She didn't care that he wore jeans and looked more like a lumberjack, she didn't care that some kid was clingy to his leg for dear life, and she didn't care that he was staring at her like he had no idea who she was. She knew that he was Patrick Jane and he was very much alive.

She took a step forward. "Jane." She whispered. Then her whole world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Four Years Ago

Wainright was dead. He had been yet another victim of Red John. Patrick Jane failed his family once more. He couldn't believe it. It's not that he liked Luther, far from it but he didn't want him to die. Everyone he touched died, and there was nothing that he could do about it. He thought about the team. It was only a matter of time before they all found their death because of being entangled with him. He had made the right decision. He had seen all of their deaths and it wasn't pretty, that was why he kept his last and biggest secret to himself. If they knew it they would hate him even more, they would ask him question about the night that Charlotte and Angela were taken. They would ask him the same questions that he had been asking himself. He sat quietly on that mattress about that smiley face contemplating his next move. He wanted it to be quick and painless, but first there was something that he had to do. Sure he told himself over and over again that doing this as cruel, but she had to know. She had to know what he felt for her. He picked up the phone and dialed that familiar number.

Teresa Lisbon sat at her desk contemplating her next move. The funeral was today and she didn't think that he would show up but he did, he stood in the back but he came and paid his respects to their fallen comrade. She saw his face though, and she didn't like the hollowness that lied there. He was slipping away and there was nothing that she could do to pull him back up. She knew that he blamed himself for what happened and that was far from the truth. It was Lorelei's fault. She didn't even want to get started on her, she knew what had happened between the two of them and it hurt. It hurt a lot more than she thought it would. Jane was so determined and thought that he'd be able to break her, but now she was a catatonic as Kristina Frye. He failed them, at least in his boat that is what he thought and it was so wrong. She was going to go to him she thought as her phone rang.

"Jane!" she shouted into the receiver once she saw his name.

"Lisbon…I just wanted you to know that…that I'm sorry." He stammered.

"Where are you Jane?" she asked worried rising from her seat.

"I'm home….it's time that I just give up you know. I should've died that night right along with them, I did actually I was dead for the longest time."

"What are you talking about Jane? What have you done?" she asked. She put her phone on speaker and put the key in her ignition.

"I just thought that I could let them know how sorry I was and catch that bastard and put all of this behind me you know. I wanted to kill that bastard for what he did to my little girl. How could he do that? She was someone's baby. She was everything to me and he….he…I killed them." He gasped.

"No Jane, that's not true, where are you? Are you at the hotel?" she hoped he was.

"I never painted this room. I took some pills and it didn't stop the pain. I didn't want to leave you without saying thank you. You made me almost feel human again alive even."

"What did you take? Call for an ambulance, I'm on my way and we can talk. We can talk as long as you want sweetheart." She soothed.

"No, you'll never make it in time I just wanted to say that I'm, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." He sighed heavily.

"Don't you dare Jane, don't you dare do this to me.' She sobbed as she took the next exit she would never make it she knew that.

"I just wanted you to know I love you." He whispered and the line went dead.

"Jane!" she screamed but the line was already dead.

Patrick Jane smiled into the receiver feeling the effects of the drugs pumped into his system. He turned to look into the eyes of the figure that had been standing quietly and watching his every move.

"Okay I did it, I told her. I'm ready now." He sighed as the drugs caused him to drop to his knees. The last thing he saw before everything went dark was that familiar masked man walking towards him with a knife. He knew he'd finally find peace.

Three hours later Teresa Lisbon pulled into the drive of Patrick Jane's Malibu Estate. She didn't know what she would find when she went in but she knew that she had to get there. She approached the door and was shocked when she saw that the door was open. That was odd; Patrick wouldn't have just left his door open if he was going to do what she thought he was going to do. They lived in a family neighborhood any kid could have walked in at any time. She took out her gun and entered the house.

It was like a beacon actually. Something was leading her upstairs and down the hall to a familiar bedroom. She was afraid for what she would find inside but what she did find was shocking and turned her stomach. On the wall was a new smiley face, fresh and she knew that it was made of Patrick's blood. On the floor crumpled in the corner was a body of a man she couldn't even recongnize anymore. The face had totally destroyed. She knew though that it was him, it wore a three piece suit, and the hair was curly. She turned to leave the room and that's when she noticed a note taped to the door it only had one typed sentence: Tsk Tsk Lisbon, your too late. He's mine.

She fled from the house she didn't stop until she was back in front of her car where she threw up in the bushes. She was still there when the authorities arrived.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Perry

Lisbon could feel herself coming back into consciousness but she couldn't remember why she had passed out. She was on her way to a crime scene, had she made it there? Something wasn't right. Then it all came back to her and she jumped up.

"Hey take it easy. You were out for a good three minutes maybe." A familiar voice said to her.

"Jane!" she went to throw her arms around him but was stunned when he pulled back.

"I didn't think that you had hit your head when you fell, but I'm definitely no Jane. My name is Perry, is there any blurred vision, do you know what day it is?" he asked concerned, but it wasn't the kind of concerned she wanted.

She turned to Cho for answers. This was Jane, she could feel it, but there was something definitely something wrong with him and it was up to her find out what it was and fix it. Fix him.

"Listen I'm sorry for what happened to Rebecca but I've sat around here long enough and I really should be getting Joey home. So yea I'll just be on my way."

He turned to leave but Cho grabbed him by the shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" he shouted.

It caused Cho to let go immediately it was so Jane to say something like that. At least there something about him that was familiar.

"Awe, Mr. Holbrook, we were wondering if you could come with us down to the station. We need to ask you a few more questions." Van Pelt added doing her best to keep him there with them.

"No, my daughter has been through enough, I mean we were just going to the movies and we found a dead body so I'll just be leaving. I'm sorry I couldn't help more, Rebecca really didn't deserve to die that way."

Everyone was too stunned to say anything as he walked away. They had absolutely nothing they could hold him on but they didn't want him to walk away. It was Jane, mind you a happier and healthier Jane but it was Jane.

"Hey she left her teddy!" Van Pelt stated. But he was already gone.

He was a coward he knew that. He could help them with the case. He knew that it was the boyfriend and that he did it because he thought that she was cheating but she wasn't. She was meeting with her shrink because she was going to tell her boyfriend about Tom, her son. Poor kid didn't have a mommy now. He looked into the review mirror where Joey sat in her car seat giving him that look.

"Don't give me that look young lady."

"What look?" she asked innocently.

"Never mind sweetheart, we can't see the movie today. I'll take you home and we can watch Finding Nemo."

"Nemo!" she shouted clapping her hands.

"Yes, we'll leave this body to the find folks at the CBI."

He really did have to get out of there. That was the whole point of moving here. He wanted to forget. He wanted to forget what happened to Tracy and everything with the cops in Marion. No one here knew him or what he could do. He was just a dad, with a little construction company. A weekend paramedic, he was normal damn it. He was all about the norm, but why was it he couldn't get the haunting eyes that he had just seen out of his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: You could be Happy

After finding the teddy that little Josephine had left in the bathroom. Lisbon made it her duty to make sure that she got it back because she knew how important things like this were too little girls. So she had tracked down Perry's address just as soon as she got back to HQ.

Now she sat outside of his lovely home afraid to go in. She knew for a fact that it was Patrick Jane. His fingerprints were all over the teddy. Yes she knew that it was wrong to run the poor little thing through forensics but it was him and she had to know for sure that it was, but now that it had been confirmed she was afraid to go inside. Where had he been the past four years? Was this one of his games, did he really not know them? What did Red John do to him? She just needed a few more minutes to collect herself and then she was going in. She was a professional for god sakes and she would not let a little thing like confronting the man that she has been in love with for the last ten or so odd years keep her barricaded in her own car. She was a CBI Agent and nothing scared her. So why couldn't she get out of the car.

Perry had been looking for that stupid thing since the first shriek Joey let out in the supermarket. He needed that ratty teddy that her mom had given her. IT was like her blanket, she took it everywhere and he had been thinking about every place that they had been today and he prayed to god that Bunny, yes his daughter called her Teddy Bunny wasn't face down in Rebecca's blood. He had finally gotten her down for a nap but if he didn't have it when she woke up he knew that no matter how many new things he brought her she would never be happy with it. He was startled when there was a knock at his door.

"Just what I need." He mumbled as he walked to the door.

He knew that someone from the CBI would grace his doorstep before the day was over with, but he was hoping that it wasn't this one. There was something odd about her, and even though they had only been next to each other earlier that day there was something to familiar about her. He didn't like that, it made his head hurt whenever he thought about his past. Or the fact that he didn't know much about his past. He just wanted things to be normal for once, he should've known better.

"May I help you?" He asked without offering her a chance to come inside.

"I thought maybe someone may want this." She smiled taking "Bunny" from behind her back.

"Oh! You don't realize what this means to me, you just saved the day. Joey can barely breathe without this little guy. Please come in." he smiled actually moving from in front of the door so she could walk in.

Lisbon couldn't help herself. She had been around Jane for too long, and the moment she walked in she began to look around trying her best to soak up as much information as she could about "Perry" so she could get a feel of what kind of person he was.

"We found it at the crime scene, don't worry it wasn't near the body or anything. I know that when I was a kid I couldn't go anywhere without my favorite doll, so I got the guys at Forensics to run it through a bath just in case it had picked up something. After all it was in a bathroom." She smiled.

"Yes, so true. I mean Josephine and I just moved here and she is not enjoying herself here one bit, I thought a day at the cinema would be good for her, but then I found Rebecca."

"Yes, how did that happen again, I'm sorry I was busy losing consciousness when we first met that I didn't get a chance to question you like I needed. I thought that we could do it here. That way Josephine would be comfortable being home and all.

"Well as I told the other officer, I believe his name was Chew? I told him that Joey still isn't much for using the toilet on her on and that it would look a little better if someone saw me coming out of the ladies with her instead of the men's room. So we go in and there's Rebecca, face down in the stall. I didn't know she was dead of course, and I'm a part time EMT so of course I did what came naturally and attempted to save her life with some first aid. It was too late, she was already dead."

"His name is Cho, and that sounds about right, there's just one other question Mr. Holbrook."

"Ask anything, I'll do my best to help as I can."

"How did you know her name was Rebecca?"

Grace Van Pelt sat in the back of Maury's Diner with her husband and best friend trying to come to terms with what happened this morning. They had stopped to get a quick bite to eat before they went and questioned Rebecca's boyfriend.

"So what do you think happened? I mean we know that Red John took him, all that blood that was there on the scene was his, but the face of the body couldn't be identified. Who do you think that guy was?" she asked.

"Someone that crossed Red John obviously, he wanted Patrick for so long and he finally got him. So I'm guessing that everything that the boss said he told her on the phone was an act. He made him say those things and then he took him." Rigsby added.

"I don't know. He was down about Wainright. Sure the guy was unlikeable and he certainly didn't like Jane, but he didn't deserve today. I think that the goodbye to the boss was legit. He just got interrupted." Cho added.

"No way, everyone knows how he felt for the boss. He loved her, he just didn't know what to do with his feelings since he only wanted to love his wife. He thought it was wrong. It's like Kristina Frye all over again only sicker." She scowled in disgust stealing one of Rigsby's fries.

Normally Wayne would've been upset if someone had taken one of his fries, but when he looked back at Grace's eyes shining at him he couldn't help but smile. She was truly beautiful, and was carrying his child. Any day now Ben would have a brother or sister, his little guy was excited about having a little brother or sister. He felt for Lisbon though, everyone was still trying to be professional in this situation. A woman was dead and of course all of their time should be focusing on that, but how could they be focused on that when one of their best friends was back and happy, who even knew Patrick Jane could be happy.

"I wonder what she is saying to him right now. I ran his name through the computer. There's not real proof of Perrington Holbrook. He just appeared about five years ago. He moved to the states from places unknown and started a Landscaping Company. He does a lot of yard work, and he was an EMT back in South Carolina where he lived with his wife Terry.

"Perry and Terry, well isn't that cute?" Wayne stated not hiding his disgust.

"We need to focus, what do we have on the boyfriend?" Cho stated trying to get his friends back on mark.

"Do you think they've kissed by now?" Grace smiled as she said this totally smiling at her husband's smile and ignoring Cho's grimace.

He was just as skilled as ever and although it was getting on her nerves, Lisbon couldn't help but be a little happy because that meant that Jane was still there, just hiding. He had an explanation for everything and she couldn't help but smile at that.

"So you heard Cho say the victim's name? What did you mean when you said that she didn't deserve to die that way?" she questioned.

"Agent Lisbon, the poor woman was stabbed and left for dead in a bathroom. Anyone could have found her, I'm just sad that I wasn't a few moments earlier I'm sure even you can agree with that?"

He looked at her. She wouldn't lose control. She had changed a lot since Jane died. When it came to him she couldn't keep it together and that's why everyone at the precinct felt sorry for her. She had lost her partner, and everyone said that she had lost herself along with him. It was true, she was a great cop before and after Jane but ever since he was gone there was just something about it all that was different. Yet, here was what was missing right in front of her. She just had to get it back, she didn't care what it took she had to get Jane back. It was going to be hard though, she never noticed he could really be happy and it was about to be her taking his happiness away for the second time. Could she do that?

"So you just moved here? This is a pretty big house, are you and Josephine the only people living here?" Lisbon asked nonchalantly.

She didn't like the look that Perry gave her. His face became dark and distant and before she knew it he had jumped from his seat.

"I think it's time you left, Joey will be up soon and she is not good around strangers." He grabbed her cup of tea with shaky hands and it spilled all over his shirt.

"Damn it!" cursed.

Lisbon didn't know what had caused the change in his attitude. She was about to ask had she said something wrong but he spilled tea all over himself. Without even thinking he quickly pulled shirt he was wearing over his head to reveal a wife beater that he had under it. She noticed that he had been working out and his body was well toned, but that's not what made her gasp. He also had a lot of scars. On one of his arms it looked as if someone had gotten a little happy with a cigarette because he had little burns up and down his arm. He also had something around his neck as if he'd been strangled. It was too much to take. She couldn't even swallow the lump that was forming in her throat and she thought that she might vomit at any moment.

"Oh God Jane, what did they do to you she sobbed?"

I know I know a cliffhanger. I will update soon I promise. I know that Jane is out of character but he is supposed to be he's all full of amnesia. Are the rest of the characters okay? Let me know okay. I am still in need of a beta so all mistakes are my on. I hope you are enjoying it.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Remembering is the Easy Part

4 Years Ago…..

He didn't know how long he had been there. It all had started innocently of course. He knew what he had done. He had caused the death of Wainright. Once again he had killed someone, because of Red John, when would it end. It was going to end tonight. At least that was the plan until he showed up.

"I must say I'm very disappointed." Red John snickered.

"Why? You've won, I'm ending it all." Jane told him as he rattled the pill bottle in his hand.

"But what about your dear sweet Teresa, she's in love with you. Surely you're not so cruel as to let her discover your dead body when she comes to take you to work in the morning."

"She won't come here; they will think that I'm just brooding. They won't look for me for three days at least. By then the woman that cleans will come and find me and that will be that. You can play your mind games with someone else. I'm done.

"It doesn't have to be this way Jane."

"Oh right, I can become one of your flunkies, no thanks."

"Fine." He took a seat across from Patrick.

"Why are you here? Didn't you hear what I said? I'm going to end it all tonight. There's nothing left for me here. Lisbon is better without me. I destroy everything I touch."

"Correct! That's all I ever wanted Patrick. I wanted you to see that it's you that made all of this happen. Your sweet little girl, your even sweeter wife, they would both be here with you if you weren't such a selfish person. You understand that now don't you."

"Yes." He answered lowering his head in shame."

"Now you understand why I came to you tonight?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I've allowed you to see my face and now you know who I am."

"You're not going to let me end it are you, you're here to kill me." He answered him after everything clicked into place.

"Exactly, after tonight everything will be different. You will be with your family and Agent Lisbon will move on. Isn't that what you want? You want to be with your family and you won't Agent Lisbon to stay alive? All of them actually because they have become your family."

"Yes."

"Then down those pills and say goodbye. I'll make it all better." He smiled as he pass Jane the telephone.

_Present Day_

He hadn't been thinking. He just wanted to get the shirt off because the tea was quite hot. She saw them, she saw all of his scars and now she would expect him to explain them. Then she said that name again.

"I'm sorry. You said that earlier and I'm not this Jane person, my name is Perry Holbrook."

"It's not. You disappeared about 4 years ago. You called me and you told me you loved me, but when I got there you were dead. You were on the floor and there was so much blood and I let myself believe that it was you. It wasn't though, because here you are. You are alive and we can be happy because things have just been awful since you left. Everyone is thinking that I'm losing focus and then it's only moments before I get fired because I'm not coping without you and I need for you to be here with me now." She sobbed.

She couldn't believe herself. She was losing all composure in front of him. She had told herself time and time again that if she were to get another chance with Jane she wouldn't let him get away. This was not the way though. She knew that he had been through some kind of trauma and he obviously needed her, but she couldn't calm herself when the last memory that she had of him was being dead on his floor and now here he was right in front of her and he didn't have the slightest idea who she was. Then it clicked, she knew what she had to do.

"I can explain everything. Will you take a ride with me?"

"I can't, Josephine is sleeping and I don't want to wake her."

"I know you Perry, before I even found the correct house I found some of your neighbors. You haven't been here long, and they already adore you. Have someone sit with her and come with me." She pleaded.

Perry didn't know what to make of this woman. She was terrified that he wasn't this person that she loved desperately. He didn't think that he was him. He didn't have amnesia, he knew his whole life. He knew where he was born he knew his mother 's and father's name. This was not the case at all but he couldn't say no to her. It was something about her eyes.

"Okay, I'll go with you."

"So what do you think is happening over there right now?" Grace asked as she went back to her desk.

"Well Cho likes the boyfriend for this, if anyone can break him it'll be him. He's doing that quiet crazy cop thing right now and if that doesn't work he and I are going to do some classic good cop bad cop scenario." Rigsby explained.

"Oh forget that of course he did it, I'm talking about the Boss and Jane. What do you think they are doing right about now? I called her and she didn't answer so then I made the other phone call."

He was about to reply about how she needed to stay out of the business of their boss. Even he knew what the death of Jane had done to her but it was time that they back away from this and let whatever happens happen, and that's when he realized that she had said she made another call.

"You didn't!" he shrieked.

"Of course I did. When Jane died I didn't know who was mourning him more the Boss or Hightower. She still couldn't get over everything he had done for her. He hid her out and then he went to jail, by the time all of her affairs were in order and she was back on the beat he was dead. Of course I wanted her to know that he was alright, she's coming in tomorrow. She wants to get right on the investigation."

"What if there's nothing to investigate?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well we all know Jane, and I mean he had this big undercover sting that no one knew about. I mean for all we knew he really was crazy and living in Vegas and totally lost his mind. Then he did all of this to catch Red John. What did he get in the end? Nothing, and he was supposed to bring Lisbon's head in a box, I lost Ben because of him and what if he just decided that it was time for him to go. Leave town."

"Leave town yes, but she found his body. Do you really think that Jane would let her find a body and think it was his? I don't even think that Jane would be that low. He didn't even know us, he didn't know us Wayne. Some body hurt him and it's up to us to help him. It's Jane, I know that because of him you guys broke up and now you only see Ben when she allows you too, but it got us together and Lisbon helped out and I didn't have to get transferred. Are you sorry about that? Are you sorry you got me pregnant!" she shouted and began to cry.

"Hey its fine, I'm sorry. It's a good thing, I've missed Jane too. I just hope he's alright." He smiled giving her a hug.

He had forgotten how a woman's hormones could be when they were pregnant. Grace was all over the place, and she hoped that Lisbon was finally getting what she wanted. Sure the boss was as tough as they come but when she lost Jane she lost a big part of herself. He was willing to do anything to help her get that back.

Teresa had been parked outside this place for the last twenty minutes, and no they both were quiet in the car. She couldn't believe this was her big plan, take him in there and show him that. How could she do that? He's happy now, and he has a kid. She didn't know what happened to him, she didn't know why he was the way that he was now, and she was going to take him in a home were three homicides happened. Well two now since Jane was sitting there right before her.

"Who lives here?" Perry asked breaking her from her thoughts.

"My partner lives here. I think there's something you should see."

She exited the car and "Perry" was right behind her. She couldn't believe that she was doing this. This was the first time she had been back here since that night. That night that she thought he was dead. If he would just see this and then he'd remember and it would be just like that time when he was in a fugue state. She would bring him back to life. Things would be great, that's what she kept telling herself as she entered the home.

He was stupid. That's what he was stupid. He didn't know this woman from anyone and now he was going in a abandoned house because she had something to show him. She was crazy and for all he knew the thing that she had to show him was the last man that she killed. She was sad though. It was her eyes, she looked as if she used to be happy and for some odd reason he wanted to make her happy. So now he had entered a home that was full of sadness. He felt it from the moment he entered, but that's all that he could read. There was nothing else, it was as if the house was new, but he could tell that it was once lived in one time.

Teresa hated this house. She was doing the right thing, she was going to bring Jane back and they were going to get passed all the tension of being in love and letting each other know it and yes he had a kid now that he won't…..

"Oh god." She thought she had never thought about that, but it was too late he was now standing in the doorway of that familiar room with the two smiley faces.

"I'm sorry." She told him with a sense of Déjà vu.

Perry took a deep breath, he closed the door and did everything to make his face go blank. Then he turned and said the hardest thing he said in a long time.

"No need to be sorry, I don't remember a thing." He walked by her and did his best to get out of there. He knew that this was killing her, but he had to do it. Not remembering was the only thing keeping her safe.

Okay so confused still? I know, don't worry thought things will make sense in the end. Thanks for all those happy readers. Next chapter, we have the return of Hightower, and why Jane is pretending not to remember now


	6. Chapter 6

First Off I would like to thank all of you out there who have been reading this. I will try to add more spaces between scenes so you will know when they change. I really don't know where this story is going. Every day I think that I'm going to do one thing with it and in the end I end up doing another thing. I really thought after last night's chapter I was going to lose a lot of readers because I for one had no idea where I was going with it. So thanks for sticking around and I will try and bring a new something to it for you every day.

The next chapter is going to be full of a lot of angst and hurt/comfort and sadness. So for this chapter I decided to give you a little something that well I didn't know was going to happen until I thought about it earlier and I thought, yes this explains why Lisbon is the way that she is. A big surprised at the end of this chapter. I hope you guys like it.

Also in this story I want to bring some Janes' to the surface. Who would you prefer Patrick's mother or father? Or Brother or sister?

Chapter 6: Loose Ends

_4 years Ago…._

Teresa Lisbon was numb. That was the only thing that could describe what she was feeling right now. It took three hours for them to remove Patrick's body from his home, and she didn't leave until he was taken away. What was she supposed to do now, who would she call? Did he even have family? He never talked about them, and when he had gotten hurt the last time she found out that he had gave her his power of attorney. You would think at that moment she would realize that she meant something to him. Nope it took him saying he loved her before pumping her full of bullets and then recanting hours later. For her to even think that maybe he felt the same way. Now it was too late.

After her ordeal they had given her a few days off. Everyone in the team actual, and she should take it but now she found herself walking into the bullpen and over to the familiar couch. Before she knew it she had taken a seat and curled into the armrest. It smelled just like him. A light musk with a little bit of vanilla, she would never smell that again. She closed her eyes and just let everything go.

Patrick Jane died tonight. He had been found in his Malibu Estate beneath the smiley face that had claimed the life of his wife and daughter. He put up a good fight, at least that's what it looked like. There was a struggle and somehow the great and powerful Red John won. No one ever thought that this would be his ending; they assumed that it would be the other way around and he would spend the rest of his life in prison a happy and law abiding inmate, or in a nuthouse somewhere.

If that was the case and he had died just hours ago, how was it he was walking into the bullpen of the government office that had been his home for the past ten years. For tonight he had taken some pills and another little cocktail given to him by his worst enemy. Tonight he made a deal with the devil as they say, and he died for the lives of his new family. If he went willingly Red John would make everything go away. He knew that he was foolish to agree to something like this, and that he was sure that a whole lot of pain would come before he was finally at rest but he didn't care. Right now all he cared about were the people in this building. He didn't want them to be found beneath other smiley faces. He decided that he die for them instead.

He just had to look around and get one last look at the place and of course say goodbye to his couch. He was surprised and shocked to see her on his couch. She was fast asleep but he could tell that she had been crying. She obviously believed what she found at his home. RJ promised that he could make it believable and he guesses he was successful with that. He always hated to see her cry.

"Oh Teresa I'm so sorry." He whispered as he slowly stroked her hair.

Teresa couldn't believe that she had fallen asleep. Now she would have to tell Rigsby that she was fine and face them in her moment of weakness. When her eyes opened she was shocked who stood before her.

"Jane!" she shouted as she pulled him to her. I knew it had to be some kind of mistake I knew that it had to be someone else. You can't be gone you can't be gone." She sobbed.

This was not a part of the plan. He knew that he had risks at coming here but he was going to be at the meeting spot or Lisbon would die. RJ knew that he had a hold on him and he wouldn't be late. He couldn't be late.

"Lisbon. I need you to listen to me, look at me. You're in a calm place and everything is calm and sweet. You're safe, and you're happy. You're right, I'm here and everything is okay." He told her in a calming manner.

"Are you trying to use hypnosis on me? That won't work on me even this is a dream." She sighed into his shoulder.

A dream he thought the perfect opportunity to hold her one last time.

"You're right Lisbon, I'm so sorry I have to go but it's for the best. You can be happy without me here. I only bring death and destruction to anyone that I care about." He sighed sitting beside her on the couch.

"I just wanted to be able to tell you that I love you." She told him leaning into him to feel his warmth, and to get that Vanilla smell of his that she loved all over her body.

"I love you too." He relaxed as she sank into his side.

They fit. They fit perfectly and a part of him wished that he could stay like this forever but he couldn't. He just wanted the pain to go away and before the night was through it would be over one way or the other. Maybe in the end he would make his way out of this and finally for once there would be an end to Red John. He knew that he was fooling himself. He knew for a fact that there would be an end to Red John but he wouldn't be around to see it.

She looked up at him with the big beautiful green eyes that he loved so much. So much trust, compassion and finally love. He couldn't help himself he leaned in and gave her a kiss and he was more than happy to feel her kiss him back.

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_Present Day_

"Boss, are you alright?" Van Pelt asked as she tapped on her window freeing her from past memories.

"I'm alright Grace, so you two calling it a day?" she asked as she saw that Wayne was waiting by their SUV.

"Yea the boyfriend didn't crack. Cho thinks that a night in holding might change his mind. We had enough evidence to hold him. So how did it go?"

"He wants me to leave him alone. He really thinks that he is Perry Holbrook, and that he's a widower trying his best to raise his daughter in a new city."

"Kind of strange thought you think, Jane a single father? Did he tell you what happened to the wife?"

"It didn't come up, actually I didn't think about it, we had that whole drive out to Malibu and I didn't ask him once what happened to his wife, or how he knew Rebecca's name? I'm all over the place, this day has been draining." She smiled.

"Good things though right, you got to look us all in the face and tell us we were wrong. I'm sorry for doubting you and not believing you when you told us, well you know." She looked down ashamed.

"Hey water under the bridge, besides those times are the times that brought us together. Made us a stronger team, it's what made me understand that you and Wayne being together on the same team would strengthen us instead of destroy us."

"We owe you so much, if there's anything we can do you let us know, did you tell Danny?" she asked.

"Oh my god, with everything going on I completely forgot to make that call. So many changes I better do that right now." She began to fumble with her phone.

"No don't, not over the phone. You're heading home anyway Danny deserves to hear this face to face and from you."

"You'll right I'd better go, you and Wayne have a good night." She waved to her friend as she cranked up.

"You're not giving up on him are you Teresa?" Grace asked.

"I don't know how he does it, but Red John takes people and uses them as he wishes and he throws them away. Lorelei hasn't spoken since the day we removed her from that limo with Jane, and Kristina will only talk if you perform a séance to communicate with her own ghost. No way if I am going to lose Jane, no way. I just know that I have to fight harder. Get rest, that baby needs her momma." Lisbon waved to Grace once more as she left the parking lot of the CBI.

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Perry Holbrook sat in the living room of his new home doing all that he could not to lose his mind. All of these different lights and sounds coming from every direction were totally discombobulating. He couldn't see it though, so clearly. He was Patrick Jane. He knew before that he was someone but now to be so close to someone who knew him before. She could be the answer; she could help him realize what he was running from. He knew for a long time that he was running from something, and he also knew that the people that were around him, he's so called family weren't his family at all.

He was keeping her safe. He could feel it; in every touch he knew that she was the person that he kept safe. She hadn't gone it to too much detail about who Patrick Jane was exactly. He wondered if she knew of his gift, did he confide in her that sometimes with just one touch of a person he could see their deepest and darkest? That it plagued him badly and gave him headaches and sometimes it was hard for him to cope? He had truly hurt her feelings he knew that. He'd make it up to her, but first it was time to find out who he was.

He closed his eyes and listened to make sure that Joey was still sound asleep. He didn't hear her shout of for him so he figured he had a good hour or so. He picked up his laptop and found a search engine and in bold capped letter he typed two words: **PATRICK JANE.**

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Teresa let out a sigh of relief as he crossed the threshold of her home. She quickly removed her shoes and took a good look around. It had been four years and it still felt funny come home to an actual home. No one was as shock as she was when the reading of Patrick Jane's will was read and we still found out he was still quite wealthy. It was no wonder how he walked around all nonchalantly in those tailor made three piece suits. They were nothing to him the guy was a millionaire. Apparently after the death of his wife and child he did give away good hunk of it but he kept some as well. She thought a lot about it and at first she didn't want to accept it but then in the end she didn't really have a choice.

"Danny I'm home, are you still up?" she shouted.

"I'm in the bathroom, a muffled voice sounded from upstairs.

"Good when you're done meet me back down in the living room, you and I have to talk."

"Now why do I find myself scared about that?" another muffle sound replied.

She smiled to herself as she imagined Danny in the bathroom as she tiptoed upstairs. The first door she opened was her bedroom. The bed was once again unmade and the sheets were rumpled from where she could imagine Danny had been sleeping all day. That would be another thing the two of them talked about.

She crept down the hall to the last door on the right and peeked inside. The only thing she could see was blonde curls peeking out from under the covers so she walked on in.

Little Patrick Jane was snug as a little bug in his little racecar bed. Only three years old and he loved being in his big boy bed. It was safe for him because most of the time she was camped out in his room in case he needed her. This was her proof all those years. When everyone said that Patrick was dead and they thought that she was losing her mind. She knew for a fact that he wasn't, this precious bundle of joy was the proof that he was very much alive, because no matter what a person couldn't make love to a ghost.

"Mommy?" sleepy blue green eyes opened and called out to her.

"Hey Patty, I'm sorry that I didn't get to have dinner with you tonight, but I have good news. Daddy is home and soon he'll be all better and back with us where he belongs. He might be bringing a sister." She told her son who had drifted back off to sleep.

"Teresa come on down I've eating up your dinner and it's getting cold. Let the boy sleep!" Danny shouted from downstairs.

Lisbon held him a little tighter and kissed him on the forehead. For some odd reason she couldn't bring herself to go down there and tell Danny about today's discovery. Danny's life was another one that would change majorly because of this. Sometimes the best news could fuck up a situation.

"Coming." She sighed as she placed her son back under the covers.

Oh I bet you didn't see that coming now did you? Are you happy that it came or should I totally rewrite this chapter? I wanna know because well you are molding this story. So what do you think of Danny? Who do you think Danny is? Remember which Jane do you want Teresa to have met? Next chapter will be longer and filled with more flashbacks to tell us what happened in those 4 years and maybe Jane will find his way to CBI Headquarters.


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